VCs:
“Let’s take it from the top” = I have not read your deck
“There’s a lot to unpack here” = I have no idea what you just said
“We’re a very collaborative VC firm” = who else is in?
“Before VC, I was an operator” = I was a product manager for 9 months at YouTube, 10 years after it was acquired
“We can move aggressively” = we’ll take our time unless you’re also talking to Tiger?
“I am fully convicted on this” = no I’m not going to jail, just means I have conviction but that’s how I talk because I’m a VC
Founders:
“We are not raising” = we *are* raising
“It’s early” = the product is not working and the only user is my mom
“Small numbers, but we have deep user engagement” = after much pleading, my mom went from MAU to WAU
“Lots of low-hanging fruits to cut churn” = if there were, we’d have done that *before* fundraising
“We’ve really enjoyed our convos with your firm” = we’ll take your term sheet if it has the highest valuation